I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
