No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
