I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize