okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
