just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
