I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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