do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
