But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
