Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
