To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
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He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media