And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
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When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??