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There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
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