that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
