my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
