I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
