I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
