They should really pass out barf bags in church
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
