and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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