there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize