I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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