Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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