Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
