my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Randomize
