Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
