Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
