So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize