Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.