you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?