today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
