I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
