Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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