Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
