Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
