he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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