so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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