nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
