So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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