Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
