I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
