id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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