I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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