I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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