I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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