I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
