i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize