Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
