Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize