why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
barbara walters just said penis...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
