so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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