Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
