holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
