I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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