I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I cut my penus on the lid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize