The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
