Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you would pick up someone in the library
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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