but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
