is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
